What is a family points system?
Definition
A family points system is a chore method where each chore earns points for whoever did it, and every point fills one family goal.
How does a family points system work?
Two layers: personal points for each person, and one goal that everyone fills.
A tiny job is worth a few points, a big one is worth more. Size makes the split feel fair.
The points go to whoever did it, once a parent confirms. Everyone sees their own contribution.
At the same time, each point counts toward the family goal, such as a trip to Zoo Negara.
Some families turn points into allowance at a small rate with a weekly cap. Some never do.
Personal points answer who did what. The family goal answers what we are doing it all for.
How are points different from money and stickers?
All three can work. What matters is what you want to teach.
Family points
Personal points, and a share in one common goal.
- Best age
- Every age, parents included
- Cost
- None, unless tied to allowance
- Strength
- Effort is visible, siblings cooperate
- Risk
- Points get cheap if everything earns them
Money (allowance)
Real ringgit to manage, save and spend.
- Best age
- Six and up, once a child can count
- Cost
- Depends on the rate you set
- Strength
- Teaches money management
- Risk
- Kids ask the price before helping
Stickers
A mark they can see and touch on a chart on the wall.
- Best age
- Four to seven
- Cost
- Almost none
- Strength
- Simple and immediate
- Risk
- Loses its pull after a few weeks
Many families combine two: points for every chore, and money only for the effort part on top of a base allowance. The kids' allowance guide covers amounts and how to tie them to effort.
How many points should each chore be worth?
Examples only, based on the four chore sizes in UrusFamily. Adjust them to your home.
Make the bed, line up shoes, take out the trash, pack the school lunchbox.
Wash the dishes, bring in the laundry, fold the laundry.
Mop the floor, set out chairs for a kenduri, wash the dishes after a kenduri.
Clean the bathroom, wash the car, mop the whole house.
Which chores suit your child's age? See the chores by age guide.
How big should the first family goal be?
Pick a target the family can reach in three to four weeks. A worked example:
- 4family members
- 10points each a day, on average
- 280points collected a week
- 1,000points reached in just under four weeks
What are the common pitfalls of a points system?
Most points systems fail because of the rules, not the kids.
- Points for everythingIf brushing teeth earns points, points lose their value. Keep them for real housework.
- Changing values mid-weekSet the values at the start of the week. Sudden changes make kids feel cheated.
- Taking points away as punishmentPoints that can vanish at any moment stop meaning anything. Handle discipline separately.
- A goal that is too far awayA goal that takes months is hard for a young child to feel. Start with a near one.
- Only the kids earn pointsWhen parents contribute too, housework becomes the whole home's job, not a punishment for children.
- A leaderboard between siblingsOpen ranking can sting the younger ones. Put the shared goal up front, not the ranking.
How does UrusFamily run this system?
House chores come in four sizes worth 1, 2, 3 and 5 points, and they earn points for every member, parents included. Every point earned since the goal started counts toward the family goal, and points spent on privileges never take anything off its progress. Allowance by points is optional, at a rate and weekly cap you set, with no payments in the app. See also how to get kids to do chores without nagging.
Free on iPhone and Android.
Questions about family points systems
How is a family points system different from a reward chart?
A usual reward chart gives each child a separate prize. A family points system also counts each person's points, but every point also fills one shared goal, so siblings cooperate instead of competing.
At what age can a points system start?
Around four, with tiny chores such as lining up shoes. Young children understand points better when they can see the goal bar move, not just a number.
Should points be turned into money?
It is not required. Some families convert points to allowance at a small rate with a weekly cap, and some keep points for the family goal only. Basic chores work better unpaid.
How many points should one chore be worth?
Go by the size of the job. As an example, one point for a tiny chore such as making the bed, two for washing the dishes, three for mopping the floor and five for cleaning the bathroom.
Should parents earn points too?
Yes, if the goal belongs to the whole family. When parents contribute, kids see housework as a shared responsibility rather than a job only for children.
What is a good family goal?
Something everyone enjoys together that is reachable in a few weeks, such as a trip to Zoo Negara, a meal out, something for the home, or a donation to an orphanage.